I'm such a slacker...but there is a reason

So yea I'm pregnant. Major shocker. I wanted to wait for awhile since I just lost the last baby.
Probably more for my emotional aspect more then anything.
It's hard to loose three babies. Even though I have my son, whom I love, it's still hard.
So to explain I had talked to the doctor about getting on birth control for a few months. He readily okayed it but said I had to get my blood drawn but couldn't do it till the 16th. (july)
So I got that done, but it took the office till friday to call and tell me it was ok to start my pills. I didn't start them till the 23rd.
I guess I kind of thought my body would go along with the whole thing of not getting pregnant, you know letting itself heal. But noooooo.
I was having symptoms of being pregnant. But b/c of the type of birth control I was on, I thought it was from that. The midwife did too when I had talked to her. She had already called me in a couple months supply. I didn't tell her that I had woke up one night very sick to my stomach for no apparent reason. The more and more I thougth about it, I decided to get a test.
Now mind you I've been through this already four times. The kind of test a I got was where if it's neg there shows up one line closer to the right side of the window. Two lines if you are preg.
The first line showed up, and it was over on the left side of the window...and I was all confused. Grabbed the instructions and by the time I finished reading and looked back up at the test, there was another line. Well that totally explained why I thought the line was in the wrong spot. I was expecting it to be neg, and here I thought I needed to turn it around or something.
Laughing now?
Yea so I was in utter shock mind you. I've seen many positive pregnancy tests. Including the one Liz put up on her page. lol
But for some reason this one totally confused me.
I got a doc visit. I'm def preggers and they took blood once again to possibly estimate how far along I am.
I got the results today...and they said I'm four to seven weeks pregnant. Well per my calculations I'm either going to be six weeks tomorrow, which is sat. Or I'm going to be 7 weeks on tuesday. We of course won't know for sure until the ultrasound which is scheduled for the seventh of sept. It's an exciting thing to have an ultrasound. To hear your baby's heart beat. To find out truly how far along you are. But for me there is also a scary side b/c they can tell you that they don't hear a heartbeat...or that you are already in the process of loosing the baby.
For now I'm holding to the fact that it's happened for a reason so quickly. That God has a plan and he knows what he is doing.
I'm counting the day's until the ultrasound, and praying that all is well. It has to be....

so my reason for not writing...I've been extremely tired and wore out and just sick to my stomach. I've never had this severe of morning sickness, which mind you doesn't only strike in the morning. Grant it, it's not too bad bc I've been able to hold it down. (gross huh?) But I can't stand to "launch" whatever it is that needs to come up.

Ok...it's very late...and I'm going to go crawl into bed. Good night to all and to all a good night.

Oh and btw....I'm still thinking "girl" thoughts toward this baby being a girl. Think with me. I've been told I'm not that great a thinker...Brain overload...lots of smoke coming out of ears....You know that kind of thing.