Just thinkin...

Now that I've had a day and night to adjust to my new state, I don't feel as empty and weepy I guess you could say. I was pretty upset and it seemed my nose stayed a constant red from crying.
But I keep hearing this scripture, The joy of the Lord is my Strength.

We get Joy from the Holy Ghost when we have a re-newing. We get joy when we read our bible and God speaks to us. We get joy when we open our heart and ears a little more and are able to hear God say words to you that you have prayed.
For example:
One thing I tend to pray quite often is for us (the church) to lean unto God. Not to dwell on our understanding on life and situations or circumstances. Though we may not understand at that point in time, it's ok to lean on God. B/c He knows all, see's all, hears all. It's ok to just talk to Him and tell him your heart. One thing I keep holding onto, is that this happened for a reason. That God wouldn't allow this to happen to punish me, or to be mean to me. But he is allowing it to happen for reasons I don't currently know, or may never know. Having Faith in Him that he will see me through every test, trial and tribulation will in the long run bring me closer to him.
Which leads me to the other scripture I keep hearing.....draw nigh unto me and I will draw nigh unto you. We should always draw closer to him. not just in the bad times, but in the good as well. He is a Just God. So whenever something happens to just throw you off your rocker, remember that God see's further then you or I. He knows what's best for us. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows our hearts and he knows what we can and cannot handle. Remember he won't put more on us then we can bare. When it seems that it's too much for you to bare, that's when you lean on him for support. He will see you through all things.
Have Faith.

I guess I said most of this for my benefit alone. Writing it out sorts through all these thoughts in my mind. I do know that I have more peace then I have had. I know others are praying for me.
Anyways....
Have Faith.....

Not so good news....

Well had my ultra sound today.
As of right now I might have mis-carried. They did an internal ultrasound to locate the pregnancy . There was a very small sac in which they could not see a baby. Nor could they determine the stage of pregnancy I was in.
Blood was drawn, to which I tried not to cry my way through, and didn't succeed.
The doc will look at my counts and do a repeat on monday.
From there they will determine if my counts are going up or down.
If down, then I've miscarried.
If up, well, they could scedule another ultrasound in a couple of weeks.
But we can only wait and see.

I do know this, God is good no matter what. He doesn't let things happen to destroy us,
but rather to help us become something we need to be. As well to see how we will do in the low times. I'm still going to love God. I'm still going to serve Him. I'm holding to my promise, b/c God said I will have a baby. God cannot lie. There is no way possible for Him to lie.

Logan's 1st Birthday Party!

My Boy has turned one! June 19th actually. We had him a birthday party at our camp site that we own. There was a great turn out and I am glad it's done and over with! lol

I broke logan, or rather just didn't give him his bottle the day after his birthday. He so far has done great with taking his cup. I've been told by some that I should take his noo noo (passie) away as well. But I will let him have it a little while longer. *smile*

Here are his presents! Wish there were some there for me! I love presents!

Logan in his B-day hat. He is adorable I know....

His Birthday cake, that was almost gone by the end of the party. The rest was eaten by the fellow campers close to us the next morning. (I had a mcdon***s sandwich on my way to church)

This was logan's cake to eat, and destroy by himself. Daddy had to help him along some, but he made a mess none the less.

Daddy decided to hold the cake and let him just take a bite out of it. He enjoyed doing that and to him I guess it was better that way. Didn't get it on his hands.

My baby is growing up. *sigh*

That's ok though b/c he is more and more love-able. Just comes over to me sometimes and lays his head on me. I love him to death.

Other news....

Ultrasound Friday! Yipppeeee---skiiiippppyyy. I'm over joyed as you can tell. Wouldn't it be something if they say ma'am there are two babies in there! Oh I wouldn't faint, believe me, I would cry with joy and hope at least one of them is a girl.

My pregnancy is going great. I've not really had any morning sickness, just little bouts here and there. Mostly when I need to eat. I have been super tired though and find myself napping when Logan goes down for his nap. Keeps me rested and helps me through the day. I have to say though I'm showing. I know I'm only 2 months or so. But I've been told that you show early after your first pregnancy. Since this is my fourth pregnancy then hey I have a right to have a baby bump. No cravings really either that I can admit to. I'm starving alot. But don't really eat alot. I ate twice today i believe. my doc would say, no you should eat 5-6 small meals a day. I really should do that. But haven't as of yet.

We've been having awesome church. Had quite a few pray through and get the Holy Ghost, and also had many get baptized. God is good.

Ok it's near midnight. I have worked on this post and the one before for two hours. I'm done and going to bed. Ray should be home soon. yeah!!!!

I have pics!

Yes I know faithful readers, I have been lazy in posting news post and pics that I promised.But fear and cry not,I have loaded them on my computer, and will load them now!
Thanks to my hubby working late and Logan in bed, I have the time.
Ok starting wayyyyy back for vacation, beginning of june.

Had to get oil changed before we drove to Hilton Head Island. So while waiting, there was a little bmw that Logan played with.

Awwww his first bmw! That's right!

He loved that car. But kept driving backwards. Doesn't take after me, promise I'm a great driver.

I also got a perm before I left for our family trip. In major pain let me tell ya. But it looks awesome. Can ya tell i'm in pain?

So here is the ocean. The first day we got there it was sort of gloomy. But so very beautiful. i was very happy to see the ocean. I love it.

The beautiful Atlantic peeps! Man it's super salty. But super awesome. I want to move to the atlantic and have a home there to vacation....Lord----Do it! lol

Here I am in the ocean. I believe this was the second day. People were looking at me funny in long sleeves and in my long skirt, but that's ok. It didn't bother me any, or my hubby. lol I asked him. He's proud to have me, and that's awesome.

Here is the light house that is on the island. ( i know you have to turn your head to see it, but i didn't have time to change it around, or i'm just lazy. but seriously, just trying to load all my pics i want on here..so deal! ) At the top there is a store, but we didn't go up it. Also in that area there is a place where they have cruise boats, that you go out on for a couple of hours. We went out on one which was the fireworks and dolphin cruise. It was ok. I didn't get to eat b4 we got on the boat, so naturally I was starving when it was over. We did actually see some friendly dolphins.

We ate at a Longho**'s and it was great. I know we have it here back home, but come on you can't go wrong eating there. Logan was dying to touch the animal thing on the wall, I don't know why...but we took numerous pics. Here is one of them.

Here is logan in his diaper at the beach. He loved the water. Crawled and walked all over the place. He even at one point went and sat right in the water as the tide was coming in and let the wakes hit him over and over. He would turn around and look at it coming and turn his head back

as it got close to him. He was absolutely thrilled, it was like a BIG bathtub to him.

He also had his blanket with him at times too. Playing makes ya tired so every once in awhile he would grab his blanket and rub his face on it. then go to playin again.

There he goes to the ocean by himself.

Here he is sitting in it while the wakes come up at him.

Here is the end result of hours at the beach. He was seriously wore out.

All in all it was a great trip. I really enjoyed myself and it was nice to get away as a fam. Enjoyed the ocean, had great sunsets, fresh sea food. It was wonderful.

one more thing....it's very important!

IM PREGNANT!!!!!!
I WILL HAVE A DOC APPT TUES AT 3 TO FIND OUT WHEN I'M DUE.
JUST FOUND OUT LAST NIGHT AT AROUND TEN!
HAD TO SHARE...OH AND THIS BLOG IS PINK FOR A REASON.
WANTING A BABY GIRL...AND IF IT'S GOD'S WILL, I SHALL HAVE ONE!

I'M SO EXCITED!

I went on another vacation-to....SC

Yes I know I just came back from one vacation but we already had this one planned to Hilton Head Island and I'm very glad that we went.
It was Logan's first beach trip and as a family we had a blast.
The ocean is so wonderful and I have many pics to post.
As of right now, no you will not see them b/c that would entail me going upstairs getting the camera, loading pics on my comp and waiting for them to load on this site one by one...yea so another day when I have more time.
Just so you know, it was so wonderful...and I have some very great pics to share.

Later!

Gatlinburgh and Pigeon Forge

I'm Baaaaaccccckkkkkk! LOL

Yes it was a nice vacation and I did enjoy myself.

It was my first trip to Gatlinburgh and Pigeon Forge. Here's a list of some things we did.

*Rode the Screaming Swing (oh my goodness it was scary and I SCREAMED)

*Rode the swing thing that flips you and you go round and round and go backwards too. Was fine till the whole backwards started. Then I was ILL.

*Went to WonderWorks--it was ok and I am glad I went but prob wouldn't go again.

*Went to the Comedy Barn, oh my word it was hilarious.

*Went to Dolliwood for a day and half. It was pretty neat. A ton of shops and some pretty good rides too.We enjoyed ourselves.

*Ate at one good rest. that I can think of. It was called BullFish. I believe that is the only time we actually ate good. Everywhere else I had to keep sending food back.

*We walked the strip where all the shops were, bumper boats, go-carts, and put-put.

* I finally shopped on the last day (can you believe it). Went to the Tanger Outlet and visited many many many, did i say many yet, stores.

They had a Tommy Kids and I was sooooo happy for that.

*I rode a go cart that goes really fast, and well they had cautioned us to slow down on the first lap then to come to stop. When I came down the hill a lady had been hit and was facing us as we came down. I stopped b/c that was what they wanted us to do right. I was hit by a double seated car from behind. So hard in fact that I lost my shoes and was pushed almost into the parking area. It hurt very very badly. my chest ached, my neck was stiff, couldn't move very good until I had iced it. My left side is still full of knots and both sides have many bruises. Needless to say I wasn't the only accident that day. And I wasn't hit just once either. While i sat there in pain and the guy that was supposed to be paying attn to us and was instead paying attn to some girl, realized we had a serious wreck, came over and tried to stop the chaos. I was hit numerous times after the first hit until they put someone to stand at the end of my car to stop them from hitting me. I will never ever ride there again. I repeat-NEVER-

It was a pretty good trip and I'm just about packed for the next one. We leave Sat morning for Hilton Head and I'm super excited about that. Logan's first trip to the beach.

He by the way stayed with grandma this last trip, and has really started to walk. The most steps is nine before he decideds to sit. I watched him do it when she dropped him off. I was sooooooooooooooo happy to see him. I missed him like crazy.

I will be back Thurs. We leave Wed.

That's all for now folks....

oh i get a perm tom! Yippppeeee!